Less Traveled By Makes All The Difference

May I lodge a complaint? I am in the process of updating my audition schedule for the coming year. You see, many theatres in the DFW Metroplex just announced or will shortly announce their seasons. I`m lining up auditions starting from the end of my run in Into the Woods through this time next year, folks. And here`s my complaint:

What`s with all the weirdo, f*cked-up, nobody-has-ever-heard-of-them, artsy-fartsy shows?

I mean, come on.

Okay, I understand theatres get tired of doing Oklahoma, Little Shop, Cabaret, and Into the Woods. And god knows every theatre wants to boast things like `Regional Premiere` or `Texas Premiere`, crap like that. Plus, it seems that shows go through phases and spread like viruses, which is something to be avoided IMHO. One theatre does it, five others follow. Recent examples? Forum. Urinetown. Ragtime. And those are all terrific shows.

But when you have Top Notch Equity House X putting on and then one month later Pee-Diddly Community Theatre X puts on the same show, you`re setting yourself up for humiliation in a lot of cases. I know I sound harsh, but it`s those same people who get pissed off when they can`t fill a house (Here`s another tip: quit playing favorites and cast the talented people). But if I see The Shadow Box or Move Over Mrs. Markham or that damn `Man in the Moon Marigolds` whatever-it-is in a season list one more time, I`m going to set myself on fire. On fire, I tell you! (and same goes for Nunsense, but that`s just me)

Right now is a tough time for a lot of community theatres in the Metroplex. If an organization like PRT can be toppled, we should still all be afraid, very afraid. And it`s not a time for whacko, new-age crap that you need production notes to follow. You gotta spend money to make money, and it`s time to pull out the big guns, people!

And no, I`m talking about the tired old standards (Carousel, ahem, Hello Dolly). As much as it pains me to say, go for Lloyd-Webber. Go for Disney (Beauty and the Beast is making the rounds, follow the leader if you must). Go for Kander & Ebb (yes, I know Chicago is expensive). Hell, go for true music genius and do Gershwin or Coleman or Porter.

Get a couple of those in, balance out the season schedule between the random and the shows-people-actually-want-to-see. And for god`s sake, can I just ask what`s wrong with tap-dancing? Anyway, do that, and then talk to me about adding your Man In The Moon Marigolds.

Thank you. The End.

::steps down::